The Case for X V

How can a movie bursting with so much thesping talent – nay, thesping ROYALTY! – be bad?  

Well, actually, Patrick Stewart and best pal Ian McKellan return as frenemies Professor X and Magneto, with Huge Jackedman back as Wolverine, Ellen Page as Shadowcat, Anna Paquin as Rogue (she gets higher billing that Page, though she is there for about 2 seconds of screentime compared to Page’s 10 minutes… well, True Blood will do that to you), Halle Berry as Storm (who must get her non geometric cape from the same place Magento goes) and a few others (no spoilers here!) have managed to make a bad film before (X-Men Last Stand anyone?).  But if you combine their acting powers with those of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Professor X and Magneto, the so hot right now Jennifer Lawrence as the so hot always Raven/Mystique and the incandescent Peter Dinklage as Trask… well, surely that will guarantee boffo box office and cinematic success?

And it looks like X-Men: Days of Future Past has!  Not that the screening I was in was particularly full (being a rather pointless 3D session at a rather early time just after a long weekend), but it has got generally good reviews and is seen in some circles as the best X-Men film yet.

Its starts off in the future for a little while for a lot of slam bang wallop, and then goes back to the past for a bit of a slow down, where the X-Men: First Class cast take over.  While Hugh Jackman gets to show off his well developed abs and butt, James McAvoy really takes over the proceedings, grounding and driving the film along.  Along the way, he is outshone by Evan Peters from American Horror Story as Peter/Quicksilver (who steals every scene he is in, and possibly is the best character in the movie), Lawrence and Dinklage too, but then, he is only human.  In the end though, he is the focus and, as a McAvoy fan, I was not unpleased about that.

I won’t go into the plot too much, but it is basically that an evil scientist creates evil robots that destroy mutants in the future so mutants go back to the past to stop him.  There are lots of unexplained bits and pieces (where did future Professor X come from again?  And time travel is always a little dodgy a device) amongst all the little jokes about 70s events and the fashion of the time (looked very comfortable!), and it all moves along at a fantastically brisk pace as there is quite a bit to get through.  Quite why Magneto is so important to the story is never really made clear, and the extent of his powers is both awesome and annoying at the same time – mainly annoying, especially come the final (well one of the final) showdown(s).  

And the Sentinels… well, they look rather dumb, the future versions looking very Thor-robot like and the older versions looking… not terribly 70s.  Ah well.

So… that’s about all I can go into really as I don’t want to give away too much (besides the after the credits trailer which is all about Apocalypse though its rather pointless for all that hype), save to say that the 3D was utterly pointless even though the visuals were spectacular.

Verdict: X-Men: Days of Future Past is more X-Men: First Class than X-Men: Last Stand, and thank Xavier for that!  Fast, witty, action packed, and all those great actors!  Definitely worth the entry fee, if not the extra from the 3D.  9 X marks the spot out of 10.

The Case for Nuclear Nightmares

Godzilla can be done badly.  Hollywood has proved it before.  A film about a giant mutated sea monster that comes to save humanity from its radioactive hubris should be about big beasties battling it out and destroying skyscrapers whilst puny humans look on in shock and awe.  Kind of like Man of Steel, except with bigger creatures battling it out, and with a lot less yawning as the battle wages on… and on… and on…

It starts off small, Juliette Binoche lighting up the screen all too briefly, and the Bryan Cranston goes all Walter White as a nuclear power plant manager forced to deal with life altering events.  He doesn’t cope by making crystal meth though; he goes slightly nuts trying to figure out what really happened the day the Japanese nuclear power plant under his care collapsed.

His son, Ford Brody, the older version played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson, is… well, I suppose a typical Godzilla “main human” (not sure if he can be called a hero) in that he happens to be everything and everywhere that the plot requires.  This time around, he is a bomb disposal expert for the US Army (or was it Navy?), married to a beautiful woman (Elizabeth Olsen) and with an adorable son and living in San Francisco.  He goes to visit his father in Japan, but soon finds himself in the path of (well, he actually tends to lead) a giant flying monster that eats radiation and excretes electro magnetic pulses.

Joining the US Navy on a (presumably) nuclear powered aircraft carrier that (for some reason) is completely unnoticed by the radioactively ravenous Mothra (okay, it is not called that, but that is who “it” is), they set off in pursuit, following its trail of destruction, as it in turn is following Ford as he tries to make his way back to San Francisco… which of course, ends up as the ultimate destination for Mothra, and where the showdown between Mothra and its only “natural” predator, Godzilla, takes place.

Now, while the film looks amazing, the 3D is utterly pointless (the time worked out best) and the storyline itself is incredibly convenient (at best) and stupid (at worst).  The human plans to try and deal with the multiple threats are ridiculous, no one notices anything from the air even though these creatures are hundreds of metres tall and cannot be considered thin, and electronics have very peculiar and inconsistent ways of reacting to EMPs.  And I am pretty sure that a GPS on a boat does not usually give a boat auto pilot options, nor that a slowly moving boat carrying a large nuclear warhead can really get far enough away from the shore to stop the explosion vaporising at least part of the city, much less getting far away to avoid radioactive fallout contamination.

But you know what?  It doesn’t really matter, because Godzilla looks like a man in a rubber suit (great idea!  No Jurassic Park inspired dinosaur like creature here!) and most puny humans just don’t understand natures balance, whereas Godzilla, he does.  The action is easy to follow, well done, awesome even, whilst the military (including a commander with a seriously bizarre haircut) loses all sense of professionalism and experience when faced with the giant creatures before them.

I can’t say that I didn’t find the running time a little on the excessive time, as I did.  Ford’s family are a nice way to see what is going on around the world, but really, I didn’t care whether they lived or died, and was impatient for the credits to start rolling once it looked like the monster battles were at and end. 

But overall, I was quite impressed and quite enjoyed this latest version of Godzilla.  Not quite sure how a sequel would go, but I am curious to find out.

Verdict: Godzilla may be a load of cobblers, but its well done cobblers.  Great special effects, amazing sound, pointless 3D, mostly unengaging humans, destruction (if not necessary death) on a monumental scale.  All good elements, all brought together very well indeed.  7 creatures from our strange radioactive past out of 10.

The Case for Serious Professions

First off, Sofia Vergara has the most incredible body (Vergara the Viagra?), and while, for the majority of the film, she is adorned in colourful, figure hugging clothes that show off her amazing curves, for the one scene in which she wears a t-shirt in a fast food fan, she still manages to look like she is in designer clothing made to emphasise her everything.

When I could rip your eyes away from her, I was able to appreciate the number of other famous faces appearing in Jon Favreau’s (relatively) low budget film Chef.  There is Favreau himself as the tattoo-adorned Chef Carl Casper who finds himself stifled working at a restaurant owned by Dustin Hoffman and so strikes out to re-find himself and to bond with his son in a Cuban food truck.  Along the way, they run into Robert Downey Jr (being himself, I think), Scarlett Johnansson (I love that, as the sexy, sultry, tattooed Maitre d’, she is seduced by cooking), and John Leguizamo as Casper’s loyal cooking aid, Martin.

The story is straight forward, told like it was prepared in a slow cooker, and it pays to eat before going in to a screening, considering the range of meats, pastas, sandwiches and desserts that are prepared and slowly cooked in front of you.  While embracing traditional and low-tech cooking techniques, the film also revels in the use of Twitter and a whole host of other IPhone Apps (I hope they got a lot of sponsorship from them!) and how they can be used to publicise and at times destroy a business.  Some of it went completely over my head (I am not a Tweeter and the whole flashmob thing I find a little distasteful for some reason), but for the purposes of the film, and as a tool to show how the son could really help his father, it worked incredibly well.

As mentioned, the film does not progress quickly, and while you know from the poster that Casper will end up in a food truck, it takes about an hour for him to get anywhere near one.  There are easy laughs throughout, a few painfully cliché moments (a group sing along to a song on the car radio rarely works, and it barely does here) and Vergara shows up every so often, upping the class factor whenever she does so.  There are visits to Miami, New Orleans, Texas on the way back to LA, and a strange, overlong encounter with a cop at Long Beach which probably could have been totally excised and you would never have known the difference.  There are also many shots of extras who seem to have very little acting training as fast food customers who occasionally look right into the camera or have the slightly worried look of a person who knows they are on camera, knows that they are not the centre of attention, and are self conscious of their presence nonetheless.

But overall it is hard to dislike this film.  It is a little slow, but there are no real dull moments.  There are a lot of big names, but they are well used (unlike Grand Budapest Hotel, not that I am dissing that film, but there were lots of more or less pointless cameos there).  There is lots of food, and it all looks scrumptious and I wish I was able to both cook and chop like that.  And there is lots of Vergara, though there could always be more.

Verdict: Chef is a great little film, completely different in pace from the big blockbuster films that are dominating the cineplexes at the moment and all the more refreshing for it.  With an amazing cast, and Favreau telling the tale he wants at the speed he wants, the film, like the food, comes across as a labour of love that everyone involved appreciated.  4 Michelin stars out of 5.

The Case for Love Left

Only Lovers Left Alive stars the twin thins of Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston as Eve and Adam, two long lived (or should that be long undead?) vampires in a world that is slowly decaying, as their food source is uninspired and tainted by modern pollutants.  

They are not the only vampires left alive, but Adam prefers a life of solidarity, creating moody music on classic instruments in a rundown part of Detroit, whereas Swinton spends her time amongst the books she loves, wandering out into the streets of Tangiers only when she needs to catch up with her supplier, Marlowe, played all too briefly by John Hurt. When Adam gets all depressed about the state of the world, Eve decides to go visit him, flying first class but only at night all the way.  The arrival of Eve shakes up Adam’s world, bringing a few surprises and shocks along the way.

The film itself is not a typical vampire flick.  Killing is at a minimum: blood tends to be obtained through black market means rather than from the veins of assorted virgins.  The vampires are very creative, with Adam some sort of indie rock superstar bemoaning the state of modern music (Eve is more into her literature, though she doesn’t seem to write herself).  Humans are zombies, though the type of zombies you occasionally hang out with in bars… the metaphor didn’t make a huge amount of sense to me when I concentrated on it, but I got the general idea.

Concentration though is needed, as while the film is great to look at and the performances all excellent, I cannot say it is the fastest moving of flicks.  There are several drives through the most depressed back streets of Detroit that illuminate little (literally as well as figuratively), quite a bit of heavy, slow music, and the performances are all quite low key and unenergetic.  

Still, through it all, the film is fascinating.  Its by Jim Jarmusch, who brought cinema the haunting Dead Man, and this one feels kind of similar, even if it is in colour and about a completely different genre.  

As fascinating as it was, I have to admit that I found my eyelids getting heavy about halfway through the film, as the slow, hypnotic pace got to me.  It also didn’t help that it was a relatively late screening at the Penthouse in Brooklyn after quite a tiring week.  However, while I did have that mid-movie moment, the film picked up once the leads got together and by the end I was once again alert and riveted.  

Verdict: Only Lovers Left Alive is a strange, enigmatic film, that slowly takes its time telling its rather simple tale.  All the actors (is that Chekov in there from Star Trek?) are fantastic, the music is depressing, and the world seems a sick, sad place at the end of it all.  Mission accomplished.  7 litres of blood out of 10.

And I failed to post this at Lego Movie review time, much to my chagrin!

The Case for More Amazingness

The Amazing Spiderman 2: The Rise of Electro is actually a better movie than it deserves to be, if that makes sense.

Because the story and everything that goes on is pretty standard and very slow.  It starts off terribly, with a rather pointless scene showing the death of Peter Parker’s parents that goes on for far too long and really adds nothing to the story whatsoever, or at least nothing that couldn’t be explained in a two second flashback or something.

Things don’t really improve when we go into Jamie Fox’s character Max, before his becoming the superbaddy Electro.  His origin story is that he is a lot of a loser who gains extraordinary electrical powers once he is electrocuted.  It seems pointless providing him with a backstory that shows he is normally a bit unhinged when his erratic behaviour after his accident can be explained by the fact he is zapped by a gazillion volts, basically dies, and then returns as pure energy that can discorporate at will and then reintegrate again, bringing clothing and electronic devices surgically attached to what passes for his corporal skin along with him.  For some reason.

And then there is Martin Csokas, who seems to have stepped straight out of the Rocky Horror version of Captain America, all glossy lips and high camp evil German scientist.  Amusing, in a completely incongruous way.

But it is better than all this, even with its excessive running time, thanks to the amazing main (and young) cast.  Returning are Andrew Garflied and Emma Stone as Spiderman / Peter Parker and Gwen Stacey, and its their chemistry as a couple that actually keeps the film ticking along and interesting.  Gwen is also not a boring heroine, but is smart and determined and (thanks to Stone) has an incredible spark whenever she is on screen.  Parker is less interesting on his own, Garfield mumbling and stuttering and being all goofy when in his normal, everyday, huge haired persona, and then being all wise cracky and attempted cool (not sure how successfully there) as the webslinger. 

Joining them is the amazing Dane DeHaan as Harry Osborn reborn, and while his motivations are a little unconvincing at times (and his final scenes seem to make no sense whatsoever), his pale eyes and severe haircut paint him as a man living on the edge from the get go, a boy betrayed and not above seeking revenge.

Quite what Electro’s powers are, or how the Green Goblin comes to be, or quite what all the secrecy around the Parker parents death was all about is never really clear or makes a huge amount of sense.  But the set pieces and action are all suitably spectacular and, for the most part, comprehensible to the average viewer.  

The film is evidently skewed towards a younger demographic, and it’s a bit refreshing to see a hero movie where the heroes and villains are not all pumped up and waxed with an obligatory shirtless scene to show off the steroids at work (everyone is fit, just not exploding with veins and eight pack abs).  And with the leads so comfortable with each other and so convincing with the love story, its easy to let yourself be carried along with all the Spidey action.  And I love the use of the ring tone…

Verdict: Amazing Spiderman 2: the Rise of Electro is not an amazing movie, but is a good one.  Superhero films are always a bit long these days, but it survives thanks to the charisma and talent of the leads.  But can the next movies keep that up?  7 spidey masks out of 10.

The Case for Legging Go

How does a song as annoyingly cheerful and vapid as “Everything is Awesome” become cool?  By being associated with the Lego Movie.

Because, from its central premise of a world made up of Lego people doing Lego things, to it’s references to many DC properties (like Batman, Superman, Harry Potter) and to popular Lego ranges that aren’t that related to DC at all (like Star Wars, of course), the film itself is awesome.

Emmett (voiced by Chris Pratt, who appears to be almost everywhere at the moment, wearing high waisted pants in Her or getting a Guardian of the Galaxy role by sending shirtless pictures of himself) is the hero of the film though, as a piece of plastic in a kitset world, he is, in his own way, unremarkable.  He does his best to fit in, using all the instructions that President Business (Will Ferrell) has dictated all people should live by, enjoying the music, the coffee and TV shows that everyone does, and fit in he does.  

But Emmett really wants to be special, and when he comes across WyldStyle (voiced by a seductive Elizabeth Banks), he stumbles across a plot to destroy freedom throughout the Lego realm, and quickly becomes embroiled in a plan to save it.

Much like Emmett, the story itself is pretty unremarkable on its own.  But layer in a huge dolloping of insane humour, with jokes firing off left, right and centre, aiming for adults and kids and everything in between, and all those references… well, it’s a huge amount to take in, absorb and enjoy.

I think I read somewhere that the film is written by the people who brought the world Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and that film was completely bonkers in a great way (I haven’t seen the sequel, but the first one had Mr T.  Oh my gosh).  And they have brought a sense of complete irreverence and stupidity to this realm, and my goodness, it is good.

Pratt brings his good hearted dope voice from Parks and Recreation and makes Emmett dim but… well, good natured.  Bouncing that character off a blokey Batman, a Superman who is having issues with Green Lantern, a good cop/bad cop/same cop (Liam Neeson!), and a very “Neo is here to save us all” plot… and the Lego references too!  From the map Japanese Lego, to the 80s Space Lego (with the helmet that always ended up broken in the same spot!), to the Duplo and other Lego lines for youngsters… They are all there, all interact amazingly, and are all utterly hilarious.

The only thing that I found a little jarring was near the ending.  I won’t get into what happened here, but suffice to say this was the first time during the film that I could hear the children’s laughter over that of the adults in the audience.  However, I come the final scene (or thereabouts), I think I let loose my largest guffaw of the thoroughly entertaining evening.

It was interesting though being seated next to a “big kid” (whom I knew not) in almost every sense of the word.  While he was evidently there with his girlfriend, the guy, who was about as tall as me though in his late teens or early 20s (I would presume), wriggled and writhed and tried to suppress chuckles and whispered away to his partner with all the subtlety of a 10 year old.  While for some of these antics I was not that impressed, I had to smile to myself when I realised that this is the kind of reaction the target audience would probably have.  And yes, it made me feel all the older.

Verdict: Everything is awesome with the Lego Movie.  Smart, funny, and while a little saccharine at the end, it entertains and amuses and is pretty incredible throughout.  4 bricks out of 5.

The Case for Room Service

The Grand Budapest Hotel, the latest film from Wes Anderson, is another mildly insane masterpiece.

For no real reason, it starts in the present, goes back 10 years, then goes back about 20 years, then all the way back to the 1930s where Ralph Feinnes plays Monsieur Gustav, head of the hotel at the height of its grandeur, and from there the story really gets underway.

And it’s a story full of colour, from the bright purple decorations of the hotel itself, to the wild and whacky characters that inhabit this fictional eastern European country.  Gustav finds himself in the middle of an inheritance squabble and from there on the run from the police and the military as war begins.  Along for this ride, and brought into the fray, is Gustav’s newly employed Lobby Boy, Zero (Tony Revolori), who tells Gustav’s story to a novelist, who is recalling how he wrote the novel based on this encounter, which is all being read by a young fan sitting under a statue of the novelist.

Feinnes has a blast as M Gustav, a bit of a dandy who is a hit with the ladies and loves his propriety and poetry.  His hotel is a well run machine, as are all hotels in this country it appears, with not a Basil Fawlty in sight.  But those in sight include an amazing array of actors, including Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Harvey Keitel, Adrian Brody, Willem Dafoe… and a whole host of others I may not have noticed amongst all the scenery.

Having seen the preview of the movie several times, I was surprised when Tilda Swinton, covered in impressive ageing makeup as a wealthy lover of Gustav, got almost as much screen time as Saoirse Ronan as the Lobby Boy’s love interest and assistant in their attempt to clear their names.  But that is mainly because Gustav is the focus of the story even if it is the Lobby Boy recalling the story, and the Lobby Boy and his own story therefore takes a back seat to the driver in the front.

And it is lots of fun.  From the animated action sequences and the changing garb of the hotel, everything is crafted with love if not necessarily with a huge budget.  The actors all seem to be having a brilliant time, and it mostly rolls along with an easy charm and a light air, so it’s a little bit shocking when, from time to time, a graphic image or act of violence pops up on the screen.  Indeed, these were so unexpected that I could hear audible gasps from some of the members of the audience with more delicate sensibilities. 

But overall, it was a resounding success with all my fellow watchers.  The others were more convinced that The Grand Budapest Hotel was a better film than Anderson’s last film, Moonrise Kingdom, though I was not so sure.  Nonetheless, it was still a very funny, witty and entertaining film and well worth the wait and anticipation.

Verdict: The Grand Budapest Hotel is a brilliant film, filled with great performances, sparkling dialogue, whimsical music and wonderful cinematography.  So really, it is pretty brilliant, though I have to admit, considering the film’s quirkiness, it will not be to everyone’s taste. But for me, definitely 4.5 hotel stars out of 5.