Friday, September 19, 2008

The Case for Bull



A while ago, I tried to introduce upon the world the Smartscale TM. While it was a revolutionary step forward in unnecessary quantification, the exercise did leave me with the impression that two dimensions are not enough to fully capture the myriad complex facets that is smart and dumbness. And I will not try and tackle those extra planes here.

No, instead I will embark on another quantificatorial endeavour: the Bullscale TM.

Now, everyone with an office job has probably played bulls#!+ bingo, either mentally or physically, in some time at one meeting or other. The amount of drivel that can be spun by speakers of this tongue is truly staggering, and now we are getting into New Zealand election time, bull will make its way out of the boardroom and defecate on the street.

But it is not just the lack of reality behind the empty phrases that define “bull”. To me, there is an extra level as well – the belief of the person who is speaking. Because, to be honest, if someone spouts drivel but fully believes in it, that is quite a different proposition to someone who actively is lying to you.

And so, my Bullscale takes the “Reality” portion of bull, and adds in scale for “Belief”.


But what does that really mean? Well, I have thought of a few examples that spring to mind.

Where they fit on the scales is a matter of opinion, but here is my rationale:

High Belief/Low Reality: George W Bush

He may not be my cup of tea, but I believe he is completely sincere in his beliefs and does what he thinks is right. Not that those beliefs have to be based on any hard evidence, and hypocrisy (Iraq v Georgia?) is also something that doesn’t bother him.

High Belief/High Reality: Amnesty International

Man’s inhumanity to man is remarkable. Taking a stand for it is admirable. They may be slagged for a bit of bias now and then, but in general, they stick to their guns (figuratively speaking) no matter the target.

Low Belief/High Reality: Tobacco Companies

There is a large amount of money spent on research about tobacco’s effects, with the results almost guaranteed because they money comes from the leading tobacco companies. So there is “proof” provided, but can one really trust the source?

Low Belief/Low Reality: Winston Peters

May just be me, but I don’t trust him, and the persecution complex (rather than fighting allegations with facts) does not endear me to him either.

Feel free to let me know if you have doubts about the Bullscale TM, or the people I have used as my examples. Or else add your own. Though remember, the Bullscale is TMed.

Verdict: Another job no one wanted done is done. 5 bulls out of 7

1 comment:

Andrew said...

Ahhh, the thing that I'd point out is that belief is not always necessary for the factness of a fact. I mean, if I said the sun is not a wasp made of cheese, but didn't believe a word of what I was saying, where would that fit on the scale? It seems very different from the "selling something" example.

(Please overlook how in my example I am hypothetically insane)