Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Case for the Existence of Aliens

Everyone knows that Aliens are responsible for a great many things that go on in this world. Not the illegal alien, foreign national sort. But the full on, chest-bursting, omnipositor-inserting, anal-probing sort. The ones the X-Files always went on about. And there is proof of their existence, if you know where to look. While Richard “Munch” Belzer would say the evidence exists on the far side of the moon and in the development of Velcro, there are other clues much closer to home.

And some of them aren’t even that well disguised. Take the New Zealand Stock Exchange building right here in Wellington.

First off, the NZSE changes its name to NZX (and X always denotes a place of mystery; or else, admittedly, a brothel).

Then, they decorate their building on the Wellington waterfront with one of those electronic Stock Market indices things. In Times Square, New York, one of these things makes for an interesting diversion and keeps in character with the hustling, financial capital city vibe. However, in New Zealand, anyone who would be interested in the Stock Market would probably not go to the Wellington waterfront to see it; or, if they were at the waterfront, would be better served looking out over the harbour or around Frank Kitts Park. In other words, the NZX puts this big, ugly, but most importantly changeable sign post thingy on Wellington’s waterfront, directing that display out to the waterfront where almost nobody would be (if able) interested or (if interested) able to see it. Unless, of course, your invisible Alien mothership is parallel parked next to the Overseas terminal.

And then, every once in a while, they send coded messages. The accompanying image shows a time when I was able to capture this clandestine transmission of intelligence to the Alien overlords! Not quite sure what the message itself may have been (perhaps a thanks for sending Wellington some uncannily benign weather?), but then, who knows what nefarious plot these Alien intelligences have hatched?

But with time perhaps these plans will become more obvious. And I, for one, will keep my eyes peeled to make sure those plans do not catch me unawares…

Verdict: The Truth is Out There


Not Kate said...

I'm very nearly convinced. Good spotting, Richy!

I will look for encoded messages next time I'm near the water-front (see - that may be the opposite of the desired effect, further bringing attention away from the pretty water views....).

As I like to say when I'm on TV game-shows, I like to 'dabble in the stockmarket' (It's not actually true - I just like to say it).

Not Kate said...

Further proof: Jon has a theory that I may in fact have been abducted somewhere between Sunday afternoon and late Monday night (evidenced by my realistic but horribly co-ordinated clone who played netball yesterday).