The Case for Aliens 3

It has been a while since my last Alien sighting, but they are still out there, plotting their nefarious plans and preparing to unleash themselves on an unaware yet aware world.

The current Wellington Mayor sometimes times act like she is from another planet, and I am beginning to suspect that, if not an actual extra terrestrial herself, there may be ties to the ET Triads within the City Council administration.

Do I proffer any proof for these wild allegations? Of course not! But I will draw outlandish conclusions based on things I have seen on the Wellington waterfront.

The fact that the New Zealand Stock Exchange building is used to send covert messages to the submerged mothership in Wellington Harbour is now wildly accepted by my competing personalities. However, there have been startling new revelations that add extra weight to the ridiculous claims of a hidden agenda behind waterfront development.

Near the mysteriously named chain restaurant Wagamamas lurks the submerged lights snapped in this accompanying photo. While at first it may look like the eyes of a taniwha, everyone knows that taniwhas cannot stand modern New Zealand European constructions and aesthetics, so we can rule out that possibility fairly quickly. No, these lights can only mean one thing: they are the unearthly symbol for large alien eyes, indicating the passageway to the soul, meaning in humanic terms the “Entry” sign.

Yup, there is an Alien den located near (or even under) Wagamamas. Or at the very least, they have one of their entries there, the WCC complicit in distracting us from its presence by adding similarly coloured lighting along the waterfront.

But where does the passage way lead? And where is the exit? Questions to ponder when one next wants to sift through the detritus of the ridiculous…

Verdict: The eyes have it - large, ovoid alien eyes that is. We're into the negative credibility zone out of ten here...

And then, because I can, and to mark Family Guy's welcome return to C4...

The Case for Aliens 2

A wee while ago now (back in September), I promised to mention a trip to Stonehenge Aotearoa. The image below is actually from their website, and an amazing site it is too.

Nestled in the hills of the Wairarapa, this Antipodean Edifice stands watching the southern skies, observing in its calculating way the passage of the seasons, the months and the years, but sun and by star and by moon.

And by ALIENS.

Yes, this wee New Age, Old Age, Druidical enclave does in fact appear to be home to a nest of the Alien enamoured (or, as we could also call them Extra Terrestrial Collaborators. or ETCs). That is, of course, assuming that any humans involved in the project are actually still conscious and have not had their bodies taken over in a case of intergalactic possession, or are not just mindless automatons controlled by remote telepathy.

The people (ETCs?) who greeted us on our trip to Stonehenge seemed utterly lovely. However, we were not allowed to go and view the site itself as there was a gang of touring bikers there at the same time and they had taken all the places on the tour for that morning. Whenever I hear of one group of people controlling an event to the exclusion of others, I start thinking alien conspiracy.

However, try as they might, those alien entities still give the game away. Perhaps their highly advanced mental faculties have not excluded them from the sin of pride, or else they revel in games of psychological torture by leaving only tantalising clues of their secret existence on our planet, but on the driveway to the stone circle lies this small statue, guarding the entrance way to the alien subether relay station or Intergalatic Petroleum station or whatever Stonehenge Aoteroa might actually be. It appears to be made of stone or concrete, but perhaps this is actually the state of an alien hitchhiker in suspended animation, waiting for the next rocket truck to come along this particular interstellar highway.

Whatever its true insidious nature, it can't help but be unnaturally insidious.

The aliens are out there. And news from Hollywood is that they are making another X-Files film - another sure sign of an alien conspiracy, for those of us who are watching...

Verdict: They get more and more bold as the decades roll by, until finally...