The Case for Western Aliens

I wonder if they alternate the opening "studio" credits for Cowboys and Aliens?  I personally quite like the Relativity Media titles, which were not shown, though we still got the silent Paramount stars, the fishing Dreamworker and, my favourite, the fantastic opening fanfare of the Universal Pictures introduction which always makes me feel totally ready to invade the puny planet around which the logo orbits like a protective equatorial shield. 

The number of contributing companies to this movie is perhaps a little bit of a warning: were the movie houses so unsure of this film that not one of them was keen to fund the whole thing by themselves?  Or is it an indication that the Special Effects budget was too big for just one of them to handle?

Whatever the reason, the combined power of all these studios means that Cowboys and Aliens enjoys a huge budget and suffers from a story designed by a cliché committee.

I could not fault the pick of leads that such a budget allowed, with Daniel Craig his regular stonily stoic self, battered and beaten at every opportunity, and with Harrison Ford all gruff charm.  The rest of the cast kind of fade into their clichéd characters (even Sam Rockwell), looking pretty in a dirty way and contributing little besides being the living cardboard upon which their cartoonish characters are drawn.

While the plot may have been drawn in crayon (colourful but childlike), when things happen, it all gets very exciting.  Aliens are always good villains (unstoppable until they are. stopped), and as Craig is a bit of a masochist, the hero gets bloodied in several fairly physical encounters.

But the faults in the movie are more apparent when things slow down, because it all gets frightfully boring.  Besides Craig and Ford, I was pretty okay with all the humans dying and was in fact a bit disappointed when a few of them were still alive.  There are attempts at manly bonding and inspirational speeches and I think something approaching humour, but it all falls pretty flat and unfortunately stays lying there for far too long. 

The film runs to two hours but it feels so much longer.  I got bored with the number of times the main posse would set off riding, encounter a group (human or alien), have some sort of altercation, and then head off riding again just to run into another group (human or alien) for the next altercation.  And so on.  And, at the end, while the final climactic showdown is pretty explosive stuff, quite why tides and turned and what tactics work make little (to no) sense.

But I knew that Cowboys and Aliens would be dumb going in, thanks to TV3's Kate Rodger.  I listened, but I ignored.  And, despite the stupidity, I have to say I came out having enjoyed it more than having been annoyed by it.  A minor victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Verdict: Cowboys and Aliens looks and feels expensive, and is all style over substance.  It's always great to see Harrison Ford all swash buckley, but there is far too much risible "serious" stuff in what really should be good old fashion hokum.  5 scalps out of 10.