The Case for Sheeps Clothing

Okay, so I actually saw Wolverine (or the fully titled X-Men Origins: Wolverine) before I had the pleasure of new Star Trek (XI), though the pleasure of both movies was still at the Embassy. The fact I saw a preview of Star Trek that made me want to see that film more than the Wolverine I was about to witness was probably not getting things off to a good start, but I settled in to enjoy X-Men 4 nonetheless.

I have not really followed X-Men closely. apart from a brief stint of collecting the comics in the 1990s, and even then I didn’t really learn a lot about the characters, and some of the “cameo characters” were completely new to me, so there was no real chance of me getting upset by continuity problems – I got more upset when the comics tried to cash in on the success of the movies and thus effectively erased 30 years of history.

But back to the movie: Wolverine is more of a visual feast than an exercise in engaging story telling. There are great fight scenes and explosions for the boys (and girls thus inclined), and Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, and other fine specimens of manhood for the girls (and boys thus inclined). The moral centre of the film seems to be that violence for revenge is okay, but violence for violence’s sake is wrong – but then, it never purports to be a deep movie, and with the action and a new and handsome guest mutant appearing every few minutes, one really doesn’t have the time to dwell.

Unfortunately, a lot of the action is CGI’d so that the stars appear to be in the scenes with the most danger, when of course it is more obvious than ever that they were just in a sound stage and had really no idea what was meant to be going on around them. The scenery itself is amazing, and I thought I spotted a one-lane bridge in the South Island that I recognised. As the camera tracked a pickup truck/ute crossing the bridge and then joining back to a dual carriageway road, a large white arrow clearly indicating that people should drive on the left was casually ignored by the vehicle, which proceeded in good American fashion to drive on the right hand side of the road. Why the arrow itself was not CGI’d out, surely a very easy thing to do, probably had more to do with a dismissal of its significance rather than an oversight.

By the time a young Cyclops shows up, I was dismissing a lot of stuff myself: how Cyclops’ optic beam could cut a lovely big hole throughout his school but miss the person chasing him; why a person who could control technology was ever released from service in the military considering the incredible applications of that gift; and quite how Gambit proves so easy to find considering he is meant to be on the run from the bad guys.

None of that matters. It’s a great ride – or else, it is, until the final showdown with the big Superbad. Yeah, I was decidedly underwhelmed by the multi-gifted mutant who, rather than dealing with Wolverine quickly and efficiently, mucks around for far too long. And when Wolverine deflects a powerful laser beam using is Adamantium blades… well, I would say it stretched credibility, but none of this is particularly credible anyway. The most disturbing thing though is when Patrick Stewart makes a digitally-youthified appearance – creepy!

In sum then, Wolverine is a whole lot of not special done well and wrapped in a buff wrapper. By the nature of its vacuity and its packaging, I am sure it will get a sequel. As long as Wolverine doesn’t sing, I can live with that.

Verdict: Empty and soulless it may be, Wolverine fights its way to watchability on the back of its spectacular stunts and rock hard abs. VI adamantium blades out of X.