The Case for Great Train Journeys through Russia

My last film review got me in a recollecting mood.

I love travel, and have been surprised in recent years by how enjoyable travel by train is. Having spent a lot of my formative locomotive years on the Hutt Valley line of the Transmetro service, I was initially less than sold on train travel as anything other than a fairly incomfortable and noisy experience that did, on the positive side, allow one to get into work without having to experience the trauma of finding a car park and was an incredible opportunity to read.

While I don’t think much would change on a day to day experience level, I have rediscovered the joys of extended journeys by train, especially while on vacation. I have been on the ultra comfortable (my first first class experience was on the Eurostar to London) to the super cramped (the Hong Kong MTA); from the uber modern (a French TGV from Paris to Lille) to the prehistoric (NZ Rail’s carriages on a Taumarunui to Auckland adventure for primary school); from the speedy and direct (the Heathrow Express from Paddington) to the slow and meandering (Swiss trains around the Swiss lakes and mountains, though to be honest, they are actually fairly swift and incredibly punctual).

But the train itself is just a part of the journey. The ability to socialise, to view the world in a way that planes and even buses and cars don’t afford and arrive in the middle of new and exotic destinations, and just the possibility of relaxing, walking around and reading a book while travelling to those exotic destinations are, I have found, convincing reasons for planning more train adventures in the future.

At any rate, all this was by way of introduction to my judgement on some of the rail journeys I experienced whilst I was in Russia. Two continuous journeys in particular come to mind: 1) the Trans-Siberian trip between Moscow and Novosibirisk; 2) and a morning trip on the Moscow metro.

Case 1: The Trans-Siberian is an epic journey that I was lucky to enjoy through the organisational miracles conjured by KiwiinZurich. The Moscow to Novosibirisk leg was a 3 day voyage in first class over the flat expanse of Russia and into Siberia. The countryside was fascinating in its dull, empty sameness, though occasionally signs of civilisation appeared where the modern clashed with the traditional, and the communist juxtaposed with the individual.

When I say “first class” here, I am talking relatively. Fairly unfriendly attendants mixed with my own ignorance of Russian and a lack of any passenger-enlightening documentation to make this leg of the journey almost a complete mystery (some would say “surprise”). The cabin was comfortable enough, the hot water hot, the lack of shower facilities pungent, the toilet clean. We were allowed to disembark whenever the train stopped, however briefly, though I almost missed the train once when a trip to a fairly well kept station market lasted a bit longer than I anticipated.

Even though we had our own cabins, socialisation with others proved fairly easy, as we were surrounded by others wanting to share the Trans-Siberian experience. That joie-de-vivre was not shared by the Russian Rail Service though, as touristy monuments (like the “border” between Europe and Asia) went past without a slowing for photographic opportunity, and the intercom system remained uninformatively silent.

Case 2: I braved the Moscow metro by myself one morning in an attempt to see the desiccated remains of Lenin’s corpse. That attempt proved futile as the queue snaked out of Red Square all the way to McDonald’s, but the trip back in the crowded train was one of my most pleasant experiences in Russia.

I managed to locate a seat while local Muscovites bustled around me, their expressions generally neutral to sour. Close proximity, a body-enhanced heat and a body-influenced odour tends to do that to people, and from my previous experience, the normal Russian state tends to be one of mild indifference to mild disdain.

At any rate, I found myself seated next to a shirtless man who had, by 10am, either not recovered from the previous night festivities or had started on the current day’s round. He was a bit thirsty, and asked for some of the Coke I was holding in my hand. I had taken my photo of it in Red Square and didn’t really want to finish it, so I gave him the bottle

Evidently, the way to a Russian’s heart is through his drinking stomach. We were soon the best of “common language impaired” friends. His knowledge of world geography did not extend to the South Pacific, but his pimping skills were unparalleled. And his keenness to marry me off to the nearby Russian ladies, and the glowing descriptions of the physical attributes of said ladies (I extrapolated from his hand gestures what his Russian probably meant) was the lubricant the otherwise grim passengers needed. The change was one of the most sudden and wonderful I have ever seen, with smiles erupting all around me, eyes rolling in shared mirth.

Verdict 1: The Russian Tourism industry – actually, the Russian customer service industry in general – is in need of a bit of Japanofication. The train journey was remarkable though. Three Red Stars out of five for the experience alone.

Verdict 2: One of the most heart-warming and human experiences I have ever had. Five Red Stars out of five.