The Case for Twihard 4: Twying Very Hard

I have an unhealthy fascination with the Twilight series, one that I have to categorise under "guilty pleasure" in my internal monologue of self justification.  Why else do I subject myself to these films when, every time, they end up being pretty bad?

But the series is coming to an end, and Breaking Dawn Part 1 starts to wrap things up, albeit very slowly and with lots of overwhelming yet underwhelming music.  Seriously, the soundtrack is incessant and all permeating and just when I thought I had got used to it, it got irritating again.  It takes talent to make a score quite that irksome.

Anyway, the actors:  Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner have come a long way from the first film, but only really Lautner seems to be looking to the future in this film, keeping his pecs and abs inside his tight tees rather than walking shirtless for most of the film, and trying to show Jacob as conflicted yet tender, kind yet aggressive. I say "try" as most of Lautner's acting seems to be done with his forehead, but to be honest, he is not given a huge amount of material to work with and what he is given is pretty dire.  Jacob is, as ever, the farthest point in the isoceles love triangle that is his relationship with Bella and Edward, and as such there is a bit of a struggle to try and keep his character relevant amongst all the Vampire love.

Because of course, the story focuses on Bella and Edward, and Pattinson and Stewart seem quite comfortable as being as sullen and staunchly mysterious (guess which is which) as ever.  I am not sure what the careers of these two actors will hold post Twilight, but they will be hard pressed to break those undead chains, I imagine.

This film is definitely for the girls, so there is an interminable wedding scene that is as completely lacking in romance and chemistry as the rent a crowd who magically appear (Bella has friends?  Or did they just invite the whole town over?) for this most intimate of occasions.  The film then turns into an unnecessarily extended travel video for Brazil as a wonderful honeymoon destination, before returning to the USA so that some actual action can take place.

For what happens in this film - and in the entire series - this webcomic explains everything, so yes spoiler alert if you click the link.

As for the movie... well, its long and designed to sell a blatantly manipulative soundtrack and very little else.  A few things do happen, though not many (to ensure it is a two part movie), there are some attempts at humour (I think), and everyone still loves Bella for reasons that continue to elude me.

Of course, I knew all this going in.  While the third movie had some fairly decent moments, this is a return to the "form" of the previous overwrought installments.  So I really shouldn't complain, although I am; and I really shouldn't be surprised, which I was not. 

No, I am really not the target audience for this type of movie, though the person sitting next to me, laughing uproariously at every mild attempt at humour and crying inconsolably with every false emotion, obviously had all her buttons pressed - except her self destruct button, which I was on occasion tempted to activate.

Verdict: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is everything I expected and feared, but it was better than the Hangover 2 which I also saw at the incredibly awesome Roxy Cinema. And I will of course have to go and see the final movie...  6 fang marks out of 10.