The Case for Wrestle Me This

What to do on a Friday winter's night in Wellington?

For a dose of theatricality, you really can't go past a bit of professional wrestling. The melodrama, the shifting alliances, the vendettas and backstabbing, the outfits, the hair - and of course the physicality and violence. Yeah, it is pretty much the Bold and the Beautiful for boys.


Well, the American version is. The New Zealand version, Kiwi Pro Wrestling (with the wonderful acronym which I read as KAPOW!) which I had the fortune to see on Friday night, is not quite at that level yet, but it is definitely a huge hit with the kids.

Wellington High played host to the event, but unfortunately Wellington winter made their school hall a tad on the chilly side. Of course, the wrestlers themselves didn't notice. Despite their apparently different levels of wrestling skill, acting ability, and success at playing to the crowd, they all jumped in (literally) with a huge amount of enthusiasm and energy. And some of the athleticism was inspiring - though, obviously not inspiring enough to get me into the ring.

There were heroes and villains, partisan commentators and interfering managers, and most importantly of all, a good old girl fight. And of course there were some fantastic "signature moves", my favourite belonging to the criminally dressed Johnny Juice (noone felt bold enough to tell him he was flying low for his 20-minute and innovative fight against his old team mate Inferno) with his deadly Simply Squeezed maneouver.


And there was of course, a smattering of good old homoeroticism, though, as a family-friendly event, there was no alcohol and definitely no Bruno levels of man-on-man "reconciliation". Refreshingly, while some of the guys involved were quite buff, they looked (if not were) steroid free.

In the end, the dastradly Technician battled it out with Max the Axe for the KPW crown (well, belt). Unfortunately, while the face-painted Axe was evidently meant to be the crowd favourite, the rock star hair, expert (well, to mine eyes) technique, and dashing grin won us around, and so in the end, we were right behind his deserved - if not popular - victory.

Overall, it was heaps of fun, and a great way to wind up a week. And of course, the kids loved every minute of it - and I enjoyed every other minute as well. Next week, there is roller derby, though the International Film Festival will be entertaining me instead.

Verdict: Going to Kiwi Pro Wrestling was a great night out, and takes me back to the heyday of Superstar Wrestling in the 1980s - though scarily, some of the wrestlers don't look like they had even been born then... 3 bodyslams out of 5.