The Case for Kicking Oneself

I went into Kick A$$ not quite sure what I was letting myself in for. When I had initially seen the posters and seen the shorts, I had pegged it as a knowing kids’ film. But then, I noted as I waited in line at Sky City, that this film had the strongest rating of anything playing, designated as an R18 (luckily there were no arguments that alcohol could be consumed in the 4.45pm screening, as the “family friendly” viewing hours up to 6.00pm should obviously not apply to films that juveniles can’t go to). Moosetastic seemed to thoroughly enjoy it, so I went in with expectations of being entertained – and then tried to quell those, just in case.

And I really did need to. For me, the film is broken into three parts: it starts off as a quasi-realistic awkward slacker dreamer film; slowly morphs into a fairly typical and humourous coolification of the “hero” (for some reason known only to the writer (SPOILER ALERT for the rest of this sentence), a week in hospital transforms a character into a “safe gay” girl prospect/foil… of course); and then the final third ends an uber violent goodies v baddies movie.

The fact the end is at complete odds with the beginning did not sit well with me, even as the final scenes played out. The first half suggested bumbling comedy, whereas the second half delivered implausible super heroics. The main “hero” himself (as an aside, Aaron Johnson looks disconcertingly like someone I once knew, though according to IMDB Johnson was born in 1990 (!!!!)) is fairly peripheral to the story by the end, his presence in the finale seeming more token than really necessary. But then the whole character of Kick A$$ loses centrality around half way through the film, as Nicholas Cage’s Big Daddy and his smart, sassy and lethal daughter Hit Girl take centre, bone crushing stage.

The people with whom I saw it were completely underwhelmed by the resulting mishmash: (MORE SPOILERS) the main baddy and son combination didn’t work, the Dad dismissed his offspring only once the offspring had actually been incredibly successful; a strange-yet-well-built “geek” and stunningly hot “chick” tanning session comes out of nowhere, and earlier humour about bodily functions is totally ignored in an experience that any hormonally charged male teenager would find “overwhelmingly stimulating”; and the sudden yet inevitable betrayal is then regretted and then that regret reversed for far too many clichéd reasons to really care.

I am being quite negative here, but this has proved a film that diminishes on return. I did find myself occupied for the entire film and my mind stayed with the action rather than contemplating the contrivances, but as the final credits rolled, I was left wondering if it had really been worth it. For Nicholas Cage, yes: he was obviously having a wonderful time; and Chloe Moretz, playing his daughter, got to live every little tomboy’s girl power dream. But for the audience… for me?

I feel sad to have to present the dour side to Moostetastic’s incredibly effervescent review, but then, we do agree on several key things. However, I must rule, and my judgement is, of course, right. Though it could be changed on appeal.

Verdict: Action, swearing and violence take the place of sense or tongues firmly in (facial) cheeks. Overall, its quite fun, but Kick A$$'s initial semi-serious pretentions are just a smokescreen for a burning fire of violence and boy-gets-girl cliché. 6 toned buttocks out of 10.