The Case for a Disquietening Canadiva

I am getting nervous.

Have you noticed how quiet the Canadiva Celine Dion has been recently? Like a volcano, the longer this towering mountain sits quietly on top of her bubbling bed of hot magma, the more perturbed those in her vicinity become.

She is well known for being a soulless destroyer of songs, her powerful voice capable of stripping flesh from bone in its tornado-like fury, but in these decadent times, that kind of thing goes over extremely well and she has made ridiculous amounts of money from her millions of fans. The tales of her inability to rein in her colossal voice are the stuff of legend, though whether one views said voice as being angelic or apocalyptic is a matter really depends on your point of view.

I did like the comment I overheard somewhere that “Celine Dion is the singer for those who hate music”, though I can’t really claim the air of musical superiority that one needs to utter that with complete conviction, considering my own musical tastes.

So, what is she up to? Actually, I am not really that curious as to what she is doing. More, I am interested as to when she will unleash herself once more upon the popular music scene. James Cameron did not create virtual Celine Dion lungs to belt out an Avatar theme tune about love and condescension, but there must be something gestating out there that eventually will give birth to another aural assault. I wait nervously…

Verdict: Love or hate her, once her vocal chords get into gear, there is almost no ignoring her. Celine Dion, like the Terminator, will be back. 3.5 knocking knees out of 5.