The Case for (E)Motionlessness

Got to give it to Keanu Reeves - noone can play an eerily inhuman person quite like him.

He plays Klaatu, alien insect overlord of the Realm of Spheres, in the re-imagined The Day the Earth Stood Still. This time, the Earth is still in peril, but rather than from the threat of nuclear weapons, it is from the threat of humanity, and the other residents of the planet have called in the exterminator.

Between humanity and impending doom lies US bureauracy, in the terrifying form of Kathy Bates channelling Dick Cheney. Her power-hive hairdo alone is a shock, but her pompous America-first swaggering, ably echoed by her eye-goggling offsider Kyle Chandler (taking a break from a Texan accent from the superb TV series Friday Night Lights), is nigh on insufferable - as is, I am sure, the intention.

Doing a much better job at pleading mankind's case is Jennifer Connolly, though her character is lumbered with a highly annoying step child who is obviously intended to show humanity's heart, but had me reaching for a sick bucket and then a shot gun - I would not have made the best anti-annihilation ambassador, evidently.

The film looks great, but is really long, aiming for the "slow and ponderous, makes you think" tag, forgetting that you can add "makes you think of paint drying" to that too. Jennifer is dewy-eyed for most of the film, and the argument used to try to convince Klaatu takes all of two seconds to deliver and is then kind of forgotten. This film was obviously never really intended to be a deep philosophical discussion on society's technological progress and its impact on the Earth's environment.

I think I make it sound like I liked this film less than I actually did. I was expecting a hideous mishmash after the various reviews I had seen, but in the end, it was watchable, mainly for Jennifer Connolly and the special effects. Unfortunately, for a film based on one that was meant to make one think, it is advisable for this version to leave your brain at home and just enjoy the visuals instead.

Verdict: Side-stepping its ecological message in its desire to show Microsoft technology at its best, The Day the Earth Stood Still kind of forgets what it is all really about, which is fine if the audience does too. Three Klaatu Barada Niktos out of ten.